Label: Alan Sousa
Description: In an odd twist, Alan is another one of the group's "not-so-brightest", but also is one of its cleverest. Although he has the eyes of a chinese man, the hair of a black man, and the ears of a spaceman, he actually isn't ethnic in any way whatsoever. His humor lies in his words, impressions, insults and reactions to everything that happens to him. Alan was concieved (in thought anyways) in 1939, when Jeff Goldblum went back in time to have sex qith Queen Elizabeth the 4th. Mr. Goldblum's incredible lack of research proved to be staggering, as Queen Elizabeth was not alive at this point in time. But Jeff Goldbum told Shemp from the Three Stooges (also known as "The Shittiest Stooge") to have sex with Carrot Top's great grandmother, and about 50 years later, Alan Sousa was born. Alan is currently a stand-up comedian and a chef at T.G.I.Friday's in Seekonk, MA. He goes to school at Rhode Island College, where the only thing that rivals Alan's quest for knowledge is Chuck Staton's desire to bang Caroline's sister.
Dirty Fact: Alan's penis is 100% crooked.
Watch Alan and The VBW Reenact The Movie Congo